No Ostrich For Old Zoid
by HazelWitch81
Summary: What's on the menu for New New York today? Wild animal pets controlled by the Zookeeper. Zoidberg follows the trend by getting an ostrich.


Futurama

Legal In All Fifty States.

Screen: Beetlejuice cartoon

Chapter One:

Months after the whole interior decorating incident, Fry, Bender, and Leela just came back from a mission.

Bender: Good to have you back with us, scrawny!

Leela: Yes, it's a miracle you survived those tumors.

Fry: It's good to be back! Though, I'm still 90 pounds!

Zoidberg walks in with the Professor.

Bender: Too bad the doctors didn't give you a reverse lipo, Fry!

Zoidberg: Good news, everyone!

Bender: Like we care what you have to say!

Farnsworth: We all must respect our employees, Bender. Whether we like them or not.

Fry: Do go on, Zoidberg. After all, you were the one who stood by me when I was sick.

Zoidberg: I have a new friend!

Leela: Who is it?

Zoidberg: His name is Salvador!

Bender (cynically): Oh, boy! I can't wait to meet Zoidberg's imaginary friend!

Hermes: Zoidberg has an imaginary friend? Boy, he's desparate! (laughs)

Amy: Maybe it's on a cereal box!

Everyone goes into the Exam room to meet Zoidberg's new friend. An Ostrich!

Farnsworth: Whaaaa?

Zoidberg (introducing the ostrich): This is Salvador! And yes! He's real!

Leela: Oh, Lord!

Chapter Two:

Song: Tom Petty's You Got Lucky plays as the scenes show Zoidberg playing with Salvador. Zoidberg pushs it on the swings, plays frisbee with Salvador, jumps ropes with it, and plays basketball with it. They also go star gazing, play video games, go stone skipping, and swimming together. Zoidberg lets Salvador try to play with Fry, Bender, Leela, Hermes, and Amy. But they refused.

Chapter Three:

Back at Planet Express, they all want to talk to Zoidberg about the Ostrich.

Leela: Zoidberg, we need to talk to you about your friend.

Zoidberg: Oh, I get it! You're jealous! You wish you had a friend like this!

Fry: No, it's not that, we're glad you're having fun and all...

Bender: We just came to tell you that your Ostrich friend, sucks and is a nerd! (laughs)

Zoidberg: Ha! Laugh if you will. Salvador and I have lots of fun together! And he likes me for me!

Hermes: Yeah, right! Don't be ridicoulous! Zoidberg's only friend is Zoidberg!

Zoidberg: Salvador and I have a bro-mance! Now if you'll excuse me! I have a prior engagement with him! Come Salvador! (walks out of the room)

Bender (laughs): What? A Bro-Mance? You've got to be kidding me!

Leela: I'm suspicious about this. I mean, why would someone give a wild animal as a pet?

Bender: I agree with you, eyeclops! Got a plan?

Leela: Yes, Bender, you and I will keep our eye on this ostrich.

Bender: And Fry. You go with Hermes and Amy to see if anyone else has wild animals for pets. Got it?

Fry: Aye! Aye! captain!

Amy: Let's go. We'll take my parent's limo.

Chapter Four:

After Zoidberg comes back with Salvador, he goes to bed for the day. Bender and Leela are spying on Salvador. Then they see he has flaring red eyes and goes to the viewscreen to see Salvador taking orders from his master: The Zookeeper! They don't hear the conversation. Also, Fry, Hermes, and Amy go around New New York in the Wong's limo and see other people and aliens too have wild animals as pets.

Later on that night...

Bender: Okay, chumps! Leela and I saw that Salvador was taking orders from The Zookeeper!

Leela: As you all recall we battled him when we were Captain Yesterday, Cloberella, and SuperKing. When the Zookeeper kidnapped my parents.

Hermes: So it was an evil plot!

Amy: If Zoidberg gets in trouble for this, it's his own fault!

Bender: Exact-to-mundo, slant eyes!

Farnsworth (walks in): Can't help but overhear, did you say Zoidberg's pet ostrich works for The Zookeeper?

Hermes: That's what we found out! Other people have weird pets, too!

Fry: Yo, this is messed up! Everyone has squirrells, groundhogs, porcupines, elephants, bears, giraffes, octopuses, and even whales!

Farnsworth: I checked the coordinates. The Zookeeper is on a planet called Smokey 5000. Like Smokey The Bear.

Bender: If I meet him, I'll tell him I'll start forrest fires if I want!

Leela: Hmmm, I'm not sure. Should we tell Zoidberg about this?

Zoidberg (walks in): What's this you want to tell Zoidberg?

They all decide not to tell Zoidberg, they had to lie about it.

Fry: Uhhhhh, about, a big surprise that Salvador has planned for you!

Zoidberg: Ha! Some friends you all are! You never give Zoidberg surprises! The only surprises I get is pranks played on me!

Bender: Yes, that's right! A surprise!

Farnsworth: Everyone, go home now. We'll find out the surprise tommorow!

Fry: Okay, then. So, shall we retire for the day?

Bender: You're too young and skinny to retire!

Fry: Meant for the day! (angerly): And stop with the skinny jokes!

Leela (whispers): We'll go to that planet first thing tommorow!

Fry: Good idea! Don't know about you, but there's some pajamas waiting for me back home!

Bender: Why don't you be a real man and wear Speedos to bed like I do?

Everyone went back home expect Zoidberg. Who was walking around looking for Salvador.

Zoidberg: Salvador! Salvador! It's your good friend, Zoidberg!

Unbeknowst to Zoidberg, Salvador had flaring red eyes and was walking up to Zoidberg!

Zoidberg: Hooray! My new friend! What's the surprise you...

Salvador knocks out Zoidberg with a club and calls out the other posessed animals that other New New Yorkers kept, and Salvador with Zoidberg in tow and all the other posessed animals all board a spaceship and go to Smokey 5000.

Chapter Five:

Everyone in New New York was wondering what happened to their pets. Back at Planet Express, everyone was wondering what happened to Zoidberg.

Farnsworth: Bad news, nobody. Zoidberg disapeared.

Bender: Sounds like good news to me. I like Salvador the Ostrich for taking him away from us!

Farnsworth: We're going to have to get him back. Hermes and Amy. Would you like to help?

Hermes: No way! I'm not helping save that filthy lobster! He caused his own mess, just like he always does! And causes trouble for us.

Amy: Spluh uh! I'm not doing it!

Hermes and Amy walk away as Fry and Leela arrive.

Fry: We'll do it Professor. After all, Zoidberg saved my life.

Leela: Did you check and see where Zoidberg probably got taken to?

Farnworth: Yes, he's at a planet called Smokey 5000.

Leela: Thought so! Come on Fry and Bender! We have nothing left to lose!

Bender: We have Zoidberg to lose!

They all board the Planet Express ship and head to Smokey 5000.

Chapter Six:

At the planet Smokey 5000, the Zookeeper lays in wait. The Zookeeper has a fortress in the middle of the forest ridden planet. His brother Maxwell is his partner in crime.

Zookeeper (laughs evilly): Ha Ha Ha! Very soon I will take over the world with my possesed animals! Maxwell!

Maxwell: Yes?

Zookeeper: Be on the lookout to see if anyone is going to try to stop our plans.

Maxwell: Yes, big brother!

The Planet Express ship arrives at Smokey 5000 only to be greeted by the possessed animals.

Leela: I don't see Zoidberg anywhere.

Bender: Could be he's posessed too. That way we got a reason to kick his ass!

Fry: No! Don't say that! Sure, Zoidberg is the bane of Planet Express's existance but he's still part of us.

Bender: Thank you, Mother Teresa! Or Ghandi.

Leela: This looks like the Zookeeper's work, all right!

Maxwell watches them through a viewscreen.

Maxwell: Sir! Some people are here to stop us!

Zookeeper (though a microphone): Animals attack!

All the bears, porcupines, whales, wolves, groundhogs, elephants, zebras, lions, and tigers, octopuses, deer, and other wild animals try to attack Bender and Leela.

Bender: Come on! Let's make like Batman and Robin and fight them off!

Leela: We'll break off the mind control collars on them, remember, they're possessed, they don't know what they're doing.

Fry: What should I do?

Bender: Stand back and make it look like you're doing something important!

Fry walks off and Bender and Leela fight off the animals, and their mind control collars break off. Fry ends up in the fortress and sees Maxwell.

Chapter Seven Conclusion:

The Zookeeper is angry that his plan is going awry. Maxwell runs out and sees Fry and points a gun at him.

Maxwell: Freeze jackass!

Fry: Please, you don't want to shoot me.

Maxwell: You're planning to take us down, so I will! What's your name so I can put it on a tombstone!

Fry: Uhhhh, Ashlinn Miller.

Bender and Leela continue to fight off the animals by breaking off the mind control collars!

Leela: This is called a tiger claw! Hee-Ya!

Bender: This is called the Drunken Monkey! (uluvates)

Maxwell: So, Ashlinn Miller, got anything you want to say before you die?

Fry: You know, you don't have to be evil! You can be good! You don't want to shoot me. I'm a tumor survivor. When I was going through that, I thought my friends abandoned me. And the guy you kidnapped, Dr. Zoidberg is the one who cured me.

Maxwell: Really? That's so...No, I like being bad! You can't talk me out of it!

Fry: Girls aren't going to like you if you're bad. What did you want to be before you went to work for the Zookeeper?

Maxwell: A lawyer! But a corrupt one!

Fry: It still could happen...

The animals are all free of the mind control. Then the Zookeeper comes and tries to attack Leela and Bender on a tractor.

Zookeeper (laughs evilly): I'm not beaten yet! All the animals of the world will be under my control! Who knows! I might even kidnap sewer mutants and steal diamonds again!

The Zookeeper's tractor shoots rocks at them. Bender and Leela dodge the rocks and try to fight it off and sometimes got overpowered.

Zookeeper: I achieve my goal of world conquest!

Maxwell (cries): You're right. Crime doesn't pay. I'm going to change to ways!

Fry: That's a good start!

Maxwell: Will I have to go to jail!

Fry: I'll tell the cops you were just as much a victim.

Maxwell (sobs): Thank you, Ashlinn!

Bender and Leela break down the tractor with their brute strength and subdue the Zookeeper. Fry and Maxwell load all the animals into the Planet Express ship.

Leela (kicks the Zookeeper): That was for my parents! You're paying for your crimes now!

Bender: We're taking you back to Earth! People in prison will love to meet a guy like you!

Leela: When we mean 'meet' we mean, M-E-A-T!

Bender: Good one, eyeclops!

Fry walks to the PE Ship with Maxwell. Bender and Leela head there, too.

Bender: Fry, did you subdue a bad guy, too? Didn't think your scrawny body had it in you!

Fry: Nope, I helped him change his ways. He's good now!

Leela: Wow! Fry! Good for you. That is cool how you talked Maxwell out of a life of crime!

Fry: Wow! Thanks Leela!

Maxwell (cries): I am too! He's a wonderful guy! He's amazing!

Bender: But not as amazing as me, Bender!

Everyone laughs and they forgot about Zoidberg!

Bender: Wholy *beep* We forgot Zoidberg!

Maxwell: I know where he is, he's in a lava pit under the fortress!

Leela: I wonder what became of Salvador?

Under the fortress, Zoidberg was having the time of his life riding on Salvador the Osctrichin the lava pit!

Zoidberg: WWWWEEEEE! HHOOOOOORRRRAAAAAYYYYY! I don't want to be saved! Terror is fun!

All the animals were all returned to their natural homes. Maxwell went on to Law School and the Zookeeper got sent to prison for the next 10 years. As for Zoidberg you ask? Well, that's another story for another day!

THE END


End file.
